Damn the iPhone games

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Life is slowly returning to a variant of what was left behind in June. School has started. Work is busy as ever. Jess is back into her volunteering routine. A lot has been going on but unfortunately we've been a bit lax about updating the blog these past few weeks. However, it's not entirely our fault. Jess and I have been afflicted with a grave case of Angry Birds-itis and Plants vs Zombies-osis (respectively). I'm afraid the afflictions are quite severe and coping with them has taken over much all of our blogging time. For those of you that have suffered through these illnesses, you know how challenging they can be.

They made it back

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Jess, Henry, Adeline and Truman all made it back this afternoon safe and sound. Right now it's 11:00pm, and all four of them are out enjoying some well-deserved rest. [gallery link="file" columns="2"]

For those of you that had a hand in taking care of them while they were on-loan back to the U.S. for the summer, you have my sincere appreciation. You can only do this type of thing with great friends and family.

The lǎowài (老外) are returning

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I first began to notice it two weeks ago when I was at the grocery store. It certainly didn't seem odd, just a little different and I was having trouble putting my finger on it. Then last Friday, I saw the first group of non-Chinese children playing outside since the week school let out in June and that crystallized it for me.

The lǎowài (老外) are returning.

In Mandarin, lǎowài means "foreigner". In general usage, I don't believe it's a derogatory term but I'm sure it could be used that way. I don't know why it happens, but I estimate 70-80% of the foreigners leave Beijing in the summer, only to magically reappear during the first two weeks of August, just in time for the children to start school. In my mind it seems more like the behavior of a species of migratory bird. They fly away to escape the humidity and smog so they can re-charge their batteries in their lush homelands. Or at least something like that. If you ask Jess if she's feeling "re-charged" after 7 weeks of vagabonding and single-parenting, she might just laugh in your face.

I was in Beijing last summer as well, but then I had just moved to China and my senses were on overload at the time. The crowds, the smells, the language, the smog, the food; it certainly didn't strike me that there were fewer foreigners than usual because to me, there were few than normal. However, now with a little over one year of Beijing acclimatization under my belt I can begin to appreciate the (slightly) more subtle changes.

I must be getting used to them

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We’ve posted about Chinese restrooms before. There are many nice ones in Beijing, but as a general rule: They. Are. Gross. Some of that is to be expected; bathrooms all over the world are gross. However, to put them in American bathroom standards the normal Beijing public bathrooms form an echelon somewhere between a port-a-potty that was once tipped and then returned up-right, and a college bar bathroom at 2:00am on a Friday night. Pleasant, no. Usable, absolutely. So picture the scene. I’m rushing between meetings and I have to use the restroom. I go into the stall and start to do my thing. Just then I hear the PW-IIII-NNGG sound. I look down and realize that yes, I did just rip the button off my new pants. Suck.

Okay, so I lost a button, that happens to everyone periodically. Normal, right? What was most definitely not normal, is that I must've forgotten where I was because for a minute I actually contemplated walking over and picking it up. Off the floor. Of the bathroom. In Beijing.

In my defense, the restroom was relatively dark but there was still enough light for me to see that the button rolled away from me and through a puddle of unknown liquid. I'll pause here to let that thought sink in for moment.

Luckily the American germ-a-phobe inside me (thanks Mom!) regained control and I realized that I'm just going to let that one go. I'm not sure what the going rate for a new button is at the tailor, but I'm willing to bet it costs less than hepatitis therapy.

Update 08-12-2011: For reference, the new button cost 2 RMB (which at today's exchange rate is 31 cents.

Update on the bike

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Just for fun, I noticed today's dictionary.com word of the day is aesopian. For those of you who aren't sure what that means, now is a good time to find out (so click on the link). Now that we're all in the little club and know what aesopian means, we can go on. This week could've turned out better (that's me being aesopian). On one hand, my new motorcycle is still not ready; on the other, I got my electricity back. At the time, I wasn't sure which one I wanted more but in retrospect, getting the electricity (and therefore the air conditioning) was the better choice.

Mr. Ren and I left work on Tuesday to stop by the motorcycle shop to pick up my new bike on our way home. I had done my prep work, so I had a bag of clothes in the car, my stack of cash, and my receipt (with the Chinese stamps all over it). I ALSO had every intention of feeling the clean Beijing breeze blowing through my hair as I rode my new prize back home that evening.

When we arrived, I entered the shop and walked through the showroom looking for my bike. I saw a really cool black motorcycle that had the front disc brake like I requested, but I couldn't find my bike. The shop manager greeted us warmly in Chinese (he doesn't speak English) and sure enough, walked me over to the black bike. Sigh. China strikes again.

When he saw I was upset, the shop manager was clearly confused and called Bill (who is the owner, and does speak English, AND the guy I personally ordered my bike from). Bill was very confused as well. That made three confused guys... and Mr. Ren who had no idea what color of bike I ordered or what the problem was. After explaining that no, I had indeed ordered an army green motorcycle, we agreed to pick it up after they re-painted it and we left. The ready date for the bike is now August 16 – 20. For those keeping track at home, this is a full month after it was supposed to be ready. No amount of negotiating and looking stern would get the shop manager to agree to an actual ready day. I knew he wouldn't but i had to try anyway. And it wouldn't have mattered even if he did commit to a date because he could and would change it later. That's what makes doing business in China so damn interesting (aesopian, again)!

BUT, I have a full-proof plan to get my bike. That's right, Mr. Ren. He's going to talk to the shop manager every few days and inform me of the progress. As I mentioned to a good friend of mine today, I'm at the point in my life where I'm outsourcing all the routine stuff. In this case, Mr. Ren is my number two. I'll keep you posted as he keeps me posted.

Since I know you were all eagerly waiting for some cool shots of my new motorcycle, and after all this time not posting them is bound to be a letdown, I'll instead post two pictures of a beautiful BMW motorcycle that I saw outside of our local Jenny Wang's grocery store.

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Do you see the pin-striping on the seat? Now that's German craftsmanship at its finest!

As an interesting side note, the lack of electricity and dealing with workers and facility people that only speak Chinese has re-energized my desire to learn Chinese. If you can't yell at people in their native language, what kind of a Pointy Hair are you?

Actually, I don't yell at people. But it is incredibly frustrating to be unable to communicate with people. So, in an effort to enhance my delegation AND Chinese skills, I sent Xiao Guo the following SMS today:

Qing ni wancan zhu ji rou, hao ma?

Which roughly translates to: Please cook chicken for dinner, okay?

I asked a colleague to check it for correctness and to make sure I wasn't sending her some sort of lewd text and, after receiving confirmation, I hit SEND, feeling relatively confident in my abilities.

That's why I was so excited when I got home. No chicken.

(and yes, that was me being aesopian)

08-12-2011 Update: Actually, she did make me chicken for dinner that night. She put it in a Tupperware container that got shoved to the back of the fridge. I never should have doubted her ...

So I got a text from Mr. Ren today ...

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Hi Mr mitchell just now motorcycle boss call me explain for we setrp tomorrow 5:30pm to 6:00pm petween pick up motorcyce. Moreover you should be inform agent tell his this matter.Thanks

Do you guys know what this means?!?!

Actually, I don't either. But I'm going to use context clues and assume that I'm getting my bike tomorrow!

Oh, and the dead tree was gone when I got home today. Still no front step, though.

One more thing: I discovered we have a small infestation of ants on our kitchen floor. So far it's not so bad but I'd like to take-care-of-business before they think they own the place. I went to the store to buy ant killer but they didn't have any. If anyone knows of homemade ant killer, or something I can use from around the house, please post it in the comments. Thanks!